100-Day Challenges for Team coaches

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“Doing no harm” – Practical guidance on working with GBV survivors.  

100-Day Challenges for Team coaches Week minus 2 – Getting Everyone Ready for the Start-Up Workshop “Doing no harm” – Practical guidance on working with GBV survivors.  

"Doing No Harm" - Practical Guidance on Working with GBV Survivors

Empowering you to help others and yourself in times of need.

Types of Abuse/Threats

Types of abuse or threats that make up gender-based violence and intimate partner violence in public and private life.

Acts of physical violence, such as slapping, hitting, kicking and beating.

Sexual violence, including forced sexual intercourse and other forms of sexual coercion.

Verbal abuse involves using words to belittle, demean, intimidate, or threaten someone, creating a hostile and harmful environment.

Emotional (psychological) abuse, such as insults, belittling, constant humiliation, intimidation (e.g. destroying things), threats of harm, and threats to take away children.

Controlling behaviours, including isolating a person from family and friends, monitoring their movements, and restricting access to financial resources, employment, education or medical care.

Coercion using force, threats, manipulation, or psychological pressure to compel someone to engage in behaviours or actions against their will.

Economic or educational deprivation – deliberate restriction or denial of financial resources, employment opportunities, or access to education, often used as a means to control, disempower, or keep someone dependent on their abusers.

Recognise the Signs of GBV

Physical injuries: Bruises, cuts, broken bones, or frequent “accidents.”

Behavioural changes: Withdrawal, anxiety, depression, or sudden changes in behaviour.

Emotional indicators: Low self-esteem, fearfulness, or sudden emotional outbursts.

How to Support a Victim and Survivor

STEP 1: LISTEN - make them feel heard and seen

Ensure safety first

Always ensure the victim’s/survivor’s safety and your own. If the situation is dangerous, contact emergency services.

  • Speak in a private, safe place where the victim feels safe. Use phrases like “I am here for you.” “You are not alone.” “Help is available.” “You are supported.”
  • Offer physical comfort (if appropriate): A blanket or tea can provide comfort. However, always respect their boundaries and ask before initiating physical contact.
Listen actively

Allow the victim/survivor to share their story at their own pace and in a way that makes them feel safe. Remember that this is a very vulnerable experience for them.

  • Align your body posture to make the survivor or victim feel heard and seen.
  • Silence can be powerful and sometimes necessary as they process their thoughts.
  • Be supportive and non-judgmental: Listen without judgment or blame. Use phrases like “I believe you” and “This is not your fault.” “It’s okay to feel this way.” Avoid saying: “Why didn’t you leave?”, “Are you sure this happened?”, “It’s not that bad.”
  • Validate their experience by reinforcing that what happened to them is serious and deserves attention. Say things like, “What happened to you is serious, and your feelings are important.”
  • Avoid comparing their situation to others or your own experiences, as this can make them feel misunderstood or dismissed.
Offer practical help
  • Offer to accompany them to appointments, help with childcare if you are in a position to do so, or assist in finding legal advice or shelter.
  • Help them make a safety plan: If they are in immediate danger or fear future harm, assist them in creating a safety plan, including finding a safe place to go, important contacts, and steps to take in an emergency.

STEP 2: Refer to immediate and long-term SUPPORT & CARE

Encourage them to seek help

Provide information

Offer resources like local shelters, hotlines, legal aid and where to apply online for protection orders. 

Health services

If they experience physical violence, they will likely seek health services, and these providers are favourably positioned to refer them to other services.

Professional support

Gently suggest speaking with a counsellor, therapist, or social worker specialising in trauma and GBV. There are also local support centres and groups.

Other things to remember

Keep their information confidential

Protect the victim’s/survivor’s privacy by not sharing their story without explicit consent.

Don’t gossip or share their story

Even with good intentions, discussing the victim’s/survivor’s experience with others can lead to gossip and further harm. Respect their story and keep it to yourself.

Encourage them to document everything

Suggest that they keep a record of incidents in a safe place, including dates, times, and any evidence, such as photos or messages, in case they decide to take legal action later.

Respect their choices

Let the victim/survivor decide what steps to take next. Support their decisions even if they choose not to report the abuse.

Do follow up

If appropriate, check in with the victim/survivor after your initial conversation to see how they’re doing and if they need further assistance.

Don't promise things you can't deliver

If you’re unsure about a resource or solution, don’t give false hope. It’s better to say, “I’ll find out and get back to you.”

STEP 3: Look after YOURSELF

Being a first responder, witness or supporting someone through trauma can be emotionally taxing.

Remember to seek emotional support and practise self-care in a way that works for you.

Secondary trauma occurs when you experience stress and emotional pain from recounting your own traumatic experience, helping or hearing about someone else’s trauma. Signs to watch out for are emotional exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, anxiety or depression and feeling overwhelmed or helpless.

Practical self-care tips

  • Debrief: Find a moment to debrief and reset your emotions.
  • Set boundaries: Taking breaks and saying no when necessary is okay.
  • Seek professional support: Consider talking to a trauma counsellor or joining a support group for people who help GBV survivors.
  • Practice mindfulness: Engage in activities like deep breathing or meditation to help manage stress.
  • Stay connected: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your feelings. Don’t isolate yourself. Always keep the victim’s story confidential if that’s their wish.

Long-term self-care strategies

Develop a routine

Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep are crucial.

Engage in hobbies

Spend time doing activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Continue education

Learning more about trauma and self-care can empower you to handle stress better.

Educate yourself

The more you understand about gender-based violence, the better you can support victims/survivors effectively and cope with secondary trauma.

Hotlines

Gender-Based Violence National Hotline (Command Centre): 080 042 8428
Send a Please Call Me to *120*7867#
Free from any cell phone and a social worker will call. Available 24/7. SMS help to 31531 for PWD

Stop Gender Violence: 0800 150 150
Childline: 08000 55555
Lifeline Counselling: 0861 322 322
Human Trafficking: 0800 222 777
Shelter Helpline: 0800 001 005
SAPS National Emergency Line: 10111

Legal Aid: Toll-free Advice Line – 0800 110 110
Weekdays 7 am – 5 pm or Send a Please Call Me to 079 835 7179

Domestic Violence Protection Order: Online application
https://www.justice.gov.za/services/dv-protection-order.html

For more information visit:

www.endinggbvf.org or www.gbvf.org

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Thought starter reflection questions

Jot down thoughts on these questions – to the extent they are relevant to your experience at the session:
  • When did the mood in the event shift from “why are we here?” to “this could be interesting – I am excited to be part of this.” What triggered this shift? 
  • When did you have to go “off script” on the agenda or to change the agenda? What triggered this? What did you adjust? How did it go?
  • What was most surprising to you at the event?
  • What new insights did you gain about the issue at hand, and about the way leaders in the system interacted with each other?
  • Where did the conversation get stuck? What got it unstuck?
  • How would you characterise the level of trust among participants in the meeting? To what extent did this shift as the meeting progressed? To what do you attribute this shift, if indeed it happened?

Thought starter...

Reflection Questions 

Jot down thoughts on these questions – to the extent they are relevant to your experience at the session:

  • When did the mood in the event shift from “why are we here?” to “this could be interesting – I am excited to be part of this.” What triggered this shift? 
  • When did you have to go “off script” on the agenda or to change the agenda? What triggered this? What did you adjust? How did it go?
  • What was most surprising to you at the event?
  • What new insights did you gain about the issue at hand, and about the way leaders in the system interacted with each other?
  • Where did the conversation get stuck? What got it unstuck?
These are 100-Day Challenge Mentors. 

They did some work before you received the Challenge Note. This included:

  • Writing the Challenge Note, and making sure that the leaders of all the organisations represented on the team are comfortable with it – and committed to supporting the work of the team
  • Helping the leaders of these organisation recruit you and your colleagues to the team
  • Gathering some baseline data and other information that will help you and your teammates set your 100-Day goal and develop your plan.
  • Making sure all the preparations are made for a successful Lift-Off workshop, when you and your teammates will meet and get your 100-Day Challenge started. This includes venue, facilitation support, food, swags, comms, travel arrangements and whatever else is needed.

 

Mentors will participate in all or part of the Lift-Off Workshop, mostly at the start to provide context and answer questions, and at the end to give you and your teammates feedback about the goal and plan you develop.

During the 100 days following the Lift-Off Workshop, here’s what the Mentors will do:  

  • They will check in every two weeks with the team leaders to see how the team is doing and what support they and the team need.
  • They will keep other organisational leaders informed and engaged during the 100 days, and pull them in to help as needed.
  • They will participate in the last part of the Refuelling Workshop, halfway through the 100 days, to see what additional support the team needs, and to begin to plan with the team for sustainability and scale-up.
  • They will work with the team at the Sustainability Workshop to finalise recommendations on sustaining the results and building on the work of the team.