“Doing no harm” – Practical guidance on working with GBV survivors
"Doing No Harm" - Practical Guidance on Working with GBV Survivors
As a coach, your primary goal is to drive impact. However, when working in the space of Gender-Based Violence and Femicide (GBVF), the most important rule is “Do No Harm.” This guide is designed to help you recognise the signs of abuse, support survivors safely, and protect your own well-being.
Deep Dive Video
Understanding the Spectrum of Abuse
Abuse is not always physical; it is often a pattern of behaviours used to gain and maintain power and control.
Acts of physical violence, such as slapping, hitting, kicking and beating.
Sexual violence, including forced sexual intercourse and other forms of sexual coercion.
Verbal abuse involves using words to belittle, demean, intimidate, or threaten someone, creating a hostile and harmful environment.
Emotional (psychological) abuse, such as insults, belittling, constant humiliation, intimidation (e.g. destroying things), threats of harm, and threats to take away children.
Controlling behaviours, including isolating a person from family and friends, monitoring their movements, and restricting access to financial resources, employment, education or medical care.
Coercion using force, threats, manipulation, or psychological pressure to compel someone to engage in behaviours or actions against their will.
Economic or educational deprivation – deliberate restriction or denial of financial resources, employment opportunities, or access to education, often used as a means to control, disempower, or keep someone dependent on their abusers.
Recognise the Signs
Physical injuries: Bruises, cuts, broken bones, or frequent “accidents.”
Behavioural changes: Withdrawal, anxiety, depression, or sudden changes in behaviour.
Emotional indicators: Low self-esteem, fearfulness, or sudden emotional outbursts.
How to Support a Victim and Survivor
STEP 1: LISTEN - make them feel heard and seen
Ensure safety first
Always ensure the victim’s/survivor’s safety and your own. If the situation is dangerous, contact emergency services.
- Speak in a private, safe place where the victim feels safe. Use phrases like “I am here for you.” “You are not alone.” “Help is available.” “You are supported.”
- Offer physical comfort (if appropriate): A blanket or tea can provide comfort. However, always respect their boundaries and ask before initiating physical contact.
Listen actively
Allow the victim/survivor to share their story at their own pace and in a way that makes them feel safe. Remember that this is a very vulnerable experience for them.
- Align your body posture to make the survivor or victim feel heard and seen.
- Silence can be powerful and sometimes necessary as they process their thoughts.
- Be supportive and non-judgmental: Listen without judgment or blame. Use phrases like “I believe you” and “This is not your fault.” “It’s okay to feel this way.” Avoid saying: “Why didn’t you leave?”, “Are you sure this happened?”, “It’s not that bad.”
- Validate their experience by reinforcing that what happened to them is serious and deserves attention. Say things like, “What happened to you is serious, and your feelings are important.”
- Avoid comparing their situation to others or your own experiences, as this can make them feel misunderstood or dismissed.
Offer practical help
- Offer to accompany them to appointments, help with childcare if you are in a position to do so, or assist in finding legal advice or shelter.
- Help them make a safety plan: If they are in immediate danger or fear future harm, assist them in creating a safety plan, including finding a safe place to go, important contacts, and steps to take in an emergency.
STEP 2: Refer to immediate and long-term SUPPORT & CARE
Encourage them to seek help
Provide information
Offer resources like local shelters, hotlines, legal aid and where to apply online for protection orders.
Health services
If they experience physical violence, they will likely seek health services, and these providers are favourably positioned to refer them to other services.
Professional support
Gently suggest speaking with a counsellor, therapist, or social worker specialising in trauma and GBV. There are also local support centres and groups.
Other things to remember
Keep their information confidential
Don’t gossip or share their story
Encourage them to document everything
Respect their choices
Do follow up
Don't promise things you can't deliver
STEP 3: Look after YOURSELF
Being a first responder, witness or supporting someone through trauma can be emotionally taxing.
Remember to seek emotional support and practise self-care in a way that works for you.
Secondary trauma occurs when you experience stress and emotional pain from recounting your own traumatic experience, helping or hearing about someone else’s trauma. Signs to watch out for are emotional exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, anxiety or depression and feeling overwhelmed or helpless.
Practical self-care tips
- Debrief: Find a moment to debrief and reset your emotions.
- Set boundaries: Taking breaks and saying no when necessary is okay.
- Seek professional support: Consider talking to a trauma counsellor or joining a support group for people who help GBV survivors.
- Practice mindfulness: Engage in activities like deep breathing or meditation to help manage stress.
- Stay connected: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your feelings. Don’t isolate yourself. Always keep the victim’s story confidential if that’s their wish.
Long-term self-care strategies
Develop a routine
Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep are crucial.
Engage in hobbies
Spend time doing activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Continue education
Learning more about trauma and self-care can empower you to handle stress better.
The Coach's Commitment
By staying curious, remaining non-judgmental, and prioritizing safety, you ensure that the 100-Day Challenge remains a space of healing and progress rather than further harm.
Hotlines
Gender-Based Violence National Hotline (Command Centre): 080 042 8428
Send a Please Call Me to *120*7867#
Free from any cell phone and a social worker will call. Available 24/7. SMS help to 31531 for PWD
Stop Gender Violence: 0800 150 150
Childline: 08000 55555
Lifeline Counselling: 0861 322 322
Human Trafficking: 0800 222 777
Shelter Helpline: 0800 001 005
SAPS National Emergency Line: 10111
Legal Aid: Toll-free Advice Line – 0800 110 110
Weekdays 7 am – 5 pm or Send a Please Call Me to 079 835 7179
Domestic Violence Protection Order: Online application
https://www.justice.gov.za/services/dv-protection-order.html
For more information visit:
www.endinggbvf.org or www.gbvf.org
